Journey on Jellicoe Road
by peoplealwaysleavebutnotcupcake
Summary: This story is based off the book "On the Jellicoe Road" by Melina Marchetta. It is told from Jonah Griggs' point of view.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I gasp as her frantic eyes, dancing like the ocean, threaten to drown me in my guilt. I am pulled in closer as I catch a glimpse of a tanned hickory baseball bat in the blue-green waters of her eyes. Now all I can see is blood. Blood everywhere. On the pastel walls, on my trembling hands, on the frayed carpet. The horrified expression of my little brother as he stares down at the hickory bat in pieces next to him. Hickory. No longer used much for making baseball bats because of its weight. I don't… I can't remember the details of that night. All I can see is the bat in my hands. What was I thinking? Why did I do it? He… he took me to my baseball games. He drove me to school. How could I have done that? How?

"Hey! Hey, Griggs! You're gonna wake up the whole school if you don't stop screaming."

My eyes fly open and I roll over, maneuvering to a sitting position while holding my head in my hands. The springs underneath my bed creak as Jamie kneels next to me, a concerned look shrouding his face.

"Was it that nightmare again?" Jamie inquires, peering up at my face.

"Yeah. It won't stop. I-I just feel so guilty. I know he was really bad person overall, but I can't stop remembering the few good things that he did for me as well." I answer.

This conversation has become somewhat of a routine between us. Jamie has been my friend ever since the Incident. We help each other get throughout the day, but he helps me the most at night when I can't handle the pain and memories anymore. This is when the visions come to life, and I return to the memory of the Incident that haunts me every night. The memory of me killing my father.

Next thing I remember, there were blue and red lights surrounding me. Sirens were shrieking and wailing in despair, just like I had when I realized what I had done. I had just killed a human being. There is no other way to put it. I should've been locked up. I am a murderer. Not even my own mother could look me in the eye. My little brother was scared of me. They sent me away to boarding school to become trained as a Cadet. They didn't send me away to get a good education. They sent me away so that they could distance themselves from me. How could I live with myself if even they couldn't live in the same house as me?

Jamie stays with me until I finally fall asleep and leave my demons behind. After the Incident, at first, I never was able to fall asleep, because the nightmares followed me no matter what I did. Now, it sometimes takes hours for me to fall asleep, but tonight, all my sleepless nights have finally caught up with me, and I fall into a deep slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

"Up and at 'em, boys! Get off your lazy bums! Five minutes until roll call, and you won't like it if you're late!"

The booming voice of the Brigadier startles me out of my deep slumber, and I stumble out of bed to throw on my uniform. I follow the other Cadets in my building toward the main hallway, scrambling to my position in line before the Brigadier walks in. Jamie winks at me as I slide into my spot in line and clasp my hands behind my back.

We have five buildings on our school grounds. The main building has modern, straight-edged, black stone walls with wall to wall windows, and is where all the Cadets are trained and educated. There are also four dorm buildings. Luckily, I share a room with Jamie, because nobody else would tolerate my screams waking them up every night.

Usually, by the time we are served our protein-filled breakfasts, we have already run several miles. We always do our physical fitness training in the early morning and late evening, and spend of the rest of the day being drilled on military formations or having facts shoved in our brain like every other average high schooler.

Today is not like usual, though. Today is a day that everyone has been looking forward to all year. It is the day that we go to join the Territory Wars. Each year, we camp out near the Jellicoe School for this special event. There are three teams: us, the Townies, and the Jellicoe School. We have been doing this for longer than anybody remembers, but this year is the most important for me, because it is my first year as a leader of the Cadets. I have been handpicked to be one of the few to guide our school in this war, and I will not let everyone down.

We are at a very good place in these Territory Wars. We have trails to the town nearby, and many trails close to the Jellicoe School, which I think we could use to invade them. The Jellicoe School is in the worst position of the three teams because of the many poor decisions that their leaders have made in the past. Hopefully, they won't be any smarter this year, so that I can easily take over some of their territory to give us a better advantage with the Townies.

The other leaders and I make sure that we have all our supplies and that everyone is accounted for before we climb onto the bus. I haven't been on a school bus since the Territory War last year. At my old school, before the Incident, I loved riding on the yellow school bus. I got to hang out with all my buddies and flirt with the girls in the aisle behind us. Now, I feel like the walls of the bus are closing in on me. I can't escape the ugly truth. What if everybody finds out that I killed my father? They would never treat me the same. I start panicking until I can barely breath. My chest closes up, and I feel like the world is spinning around me.

"Hey, you ok?" Sam, the gossip of the group, inquires.

"Yeah, man, I'm good. No worries." I reply, turning to the window and trying to imagine that I am in the wilderness, with the wind whipping at my face and tendrils of grass poking the soles of my feet. Sam moves over to my seat, trying to strike up a conversation, but I know better than to take his bait.

I like rude people better than gossips. At least when people ignore you or pick fights with you, you know their intentions, while a gossips are always cunning, and do anything to find juicy information.

When I first came to this school, I was a wreck. I felt like I had betrayed the two people that meant most to me in the world: my mother and little brother, Danny. I cried myself to sleep each night, and went through each day like a robot. At first, I ignored anyone who tried to reach out to me, until Jamie came along.

Jamie was my roommate from the beginning, but at first he just kept to himself. I think that he knew I needed my personal space. Eventually, though, he started becoming much more friendly. I didn't trust him, because I thought that if he found out my secret, he would tell everyone, and that I would be kicked out of the school.

One night, Jamie started asking about my family. Did I have siblings? How old? Did I miss him? What was his name? What about my parents?

To most of these questions, I just grunted a reply, but with each sentence out of his mouth, I got more and more aggravated. Finally, I had snapped.

" _Oh my gosh, can you stop talking for one second? You know, there is something called personal space!" I exclaimed._

" _Oh, I - I'm sorry. I was just trying to be friendly. I noticed how you kept to yourself and I was just wondering if something was bothering you."_

" _Yeah, of course something is bothering me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go around bragging about it. Some people have real problems, you know. Maybe you should think about that next time you try to play hero." I growled._

" _Jeez, I'm sorry, ok? But, you know, you can always tell me what's going on. Maybe your problem isn't as bad as you think. Anyway, what's the harm in telling me?"_

" _You don't understand. You never will. If I tell anyone, nobody will look at me the same. Nobody will talk to me. If I told you, there would be no doubt in your mind that I am messed up, okay? You should just get over the disappointment now and distance yourself from me just like everyone else."_

" _That's probably not true. Maybe you just need somebody to talk to. I-I heard rumors that you tried to kill yourself. Is that true?"_

" _I already told you, that's none of your business."_

" _If you're having suicidal thoughts, you should really talk to someone. It's not something that you should ignore. If you try to avoid it, the problem will just get worse."_

" _My problem is ALREADY the worst it could get, ok! I KILLED MY OWN FATHER! There you go! Are you happy now!? I KILLED HIM IN COLD BLOOD! I AM A MURDER, OKAY? A FREAKING MURDERER!" I broke down, sobbing, and ran to the bathroom. Five minutes later, I heard a knock at the door._

" _Hey…. Jonah. Can I come in?"_

 _I stared at the lock on the door, contemplating whether to open it. Should I open the door? Should I let him in? Let him into my life? I slowly slid the bolt to the side and bit my lip. Sometimes, the best thing to do is just to take a leap of faith._

Opening the door that day was one of the best decisions of my life. I have come a long way from that day, partly because of the time that has passed since the Incident, but also because I now have a friend to help me through the tough times.

One thing that I have learned from this is that true friends are the ones that stick around when the times get tough. They don't give up when you hit a bump in the road, but instead help you smooth it out. Friends can understand you when nobody else can, which can help in more ways than you may think to be possible.


End file.
